YES A REAL LIFE SHITSTORM IS WHAT BLEW IN yesterday….
So I was thinking I would start my blog off in 2012 talking about all the changes I am going to make this year, and how i am going to get so fit going to the gym and eat health and all the crap, but I had such an amazing day yesterday I could not possible handle overriding THE SHITSTORM with some sappy entry about me..instead I will talk about poop, and dogs and worms in poop. enjoy.
SUNDAY JANUARY 15TH, 2012 (LAJUNTA, COLORADO ANIMAL SHELTER RESCUE TRIP)
As many of you know, I love dogs. I love them more than most of you think, not in a sick way, just in a “i’d rater ruin my carpets with dogs, than my life with children” kind of way. So I have really amped up my involvment with local rescues and shelters in Colorado, trying to do my part to help lower the number of dogs that are euthanized in Colorado every year. Last year there were 50,000 recorded euthanizations of dogs in colorado, I’d go ahead and be that there were actually many more. So, here I am little miss colorado dog saver extrodanaire driving all over this god forsaken farm state trying to help save some dogs. This past weekend I ventrued to the lovely town of La Junta, Colorado. Never heard of it? don’t worry, I don’t even think the people there know what their town is called, except for the sweet little volunteer I met at the shelter, Sallie, she runs that town.
Anyways, my friend Ashley and I decide to drive do to that little green star and pick up a bunch of stray dogs that would have been otherwise euthanized on Saturday. The drive down wasn’t too bad, not to much to complain about, I mean nothing to complain about becuase there was absolutely nothing out there. Except for a few hitchkikers and a prison.
Getting to the shelter was NOT the problem. It was getting the 8 dogs into the back of my Subaru Outback. Not MY subaru, my friends. My friend let me borrow her car to drive it all over the state of colorado and pick up a bunch of random dogs. She is awesome. Although I don’t think she will ever let me do that again.
Lets get to the point —–> After arriving at the shelter and trying to figure out how I was going to fit 8 dogs in this car, I realized it was impossible. So I had to pick the lucky dogs I would take with. I decided 8 could fit. So we throw three in the way back part of the car and bring out the next two giant dogs. Two staffordshire terrier type mixes and throw them in the backseat. One was not having it and wanted to sit shotgun. so I let him hop in the front. I was not going to go get the last dog. A mastiff puppy. He was enormous, and the words Gentle Giant don’t even do him justice. He was the sweetest dog I had ever seen, touched, been around. He just wanted to get the fuck out of the pound and into my car. So I throw him in the car. Meanwhile, Ashley is going inside to get this little chihuahua/corgi mix that she was going to hold on her lap. As Ashley comes out with the little pup I ask the dog sitting shotgun to get in the back, I’m not exactly sure what he heard but I think it was something like, “hey brown and black dog, why don’t you hop into the back of this car and rip off the mastiff’s ear”. I mean they pretty much sound the same. So this brown/black guy is bitting the hell out of the mastiffs ear and the mastiff is screaming and screaming like I have never heard. I gave the brown and black dog a few kicks to the upper chest with my handy dandy Uggs but that didn’t do anything. Next time I need to order the Uggs with spikes. So i grabbed the tail of this brown/black dog as hard as I can and i rip him out of the car. he finally lets go of the mastiff’s ear and I am holding him upside down as ashley is helping me get him out of the car. However, Ashley was holding that little chihuahua so now the brown and black dog goes after the chihuahua and somehow in this whole debacle the chihuahua was on the ground I grabbed the satan dog and the chihuahua took off. Peace out he said. So bring the satan dog back in the pound where he is happy as a clam and doesn’t see anyting wrong with what he just did. I told him I couldn’t bring him to denver, because he was the devil. He didn’t really get it. So, once we got satan settled I was freaking out trying to find the chihuahua and relised he zipped around the back and found his way back into the pound. Why he ran back to the pound through a secret back door when freedom was right there, I will always wonder. However, I couldn’t have been happier. I grab the chihuahua and look at Ashley and ask her is she is ready to go. She was not. She had a weird look on her face. I asked her what was wrong? and what did she say:
A;” umm michelle that mastiff just took a huge shit in the backseat, i mean huge”
A” yeah, a huge poop, its everywhere all over the dog, all of the seat cover, behind the seat cover, on the passenger chair. And there are worms in it, lots of worms”.
M” are you f-ing kidding me”
M”well I guess that satan dog really did scare the shit out of him”
TO BE CONTINUED……….