SHITSTORM

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YES A REAL LIFE SHITSTORM IS WHAT BLEW IN yesterday….

 

So I was thinking I would start my blog off in 2012 talking about all the changes I am going to make this year, and how i am going to get so fit going to the gym and eat health and all the crap, but I had such an amazing day yesterday I could not possible handle overriding THE SHITSTORM with some sappy entry about me..instead I will talk about poop, and dogs and worms in poop. enjoy. 

 

SUNDAY JANUARY 15TH, 2012 (LAJUNTA, COLORADO ANIMAL SHELTER RESCUE TRIP)

As many of you know, I love dogs. I love them more than most of you think, not in a sick way, just in a  “i’d rater ruin my carpets with dogs, than my life with children” kind of way. So I have really amped up my involvment with local rescues and shelters in Colorado, trying to do my part to help lower the number of dogs that are euthanized in Colorado every year. Last year there were 50,000 recorded euthanizations of dogs in colorado, I’d go ahead and be that there were actually many more. So, here I am little miss colorado dog saver extrodanaire driving all over this god forsaken farm state trying to help save some dogs. This past weekend I ventrued to the lovely town of La Junta, Colorado. Never heard of it? don’t worry, I don’t even think the people there know what their town is called, except for the sweet little volunteer I met at the shelter, Sallie, she runs that town. 

 

Anyways, my friend Ashley and I decide to drive do to that little green star and pick up a bunch of stray dogs that would have been otherwise euthanized on Saturday. The drive down wasn’t too bad, not to much to complain about, I mean nothing to complain about becuase there was absolutely nothing out there. Except for a few hitchkikers and a prison. 

 

Getting to the shelter was NOT the problem. It was getting the 8 dogs into the back of my Subaru Outback. Not MY subaru, my friends. My friend let me borrow her car to drive it all over the state of colorado and pick up a bunch of random dogs. She is awesome. Although I don’t think she will ever let me do that again. 

Lets get to the point —–> After arriving at the shelter and trying to figure out how I was going to fit 8 dogs in this car, I realized it was impossible. So I had to pick the lucky dogs I would take with. I decided 8 could fit. So we throw three in the way back part of the car and bring out the next two giant dogs. Two staffordshire terrier type mixes and throw them in the backseat. One was not having it and wanted to sit shotgun. so I let him hop in the front. I was not going to go get the last dog. A mastiff puppy. He was enormous, and the words Gentle Giant don’t even do him justice. He was the sweetest dog I had ever seen, touched, been around. He just wanted to get the fuck out of the pound and into my car. So I throw him in the car. Meanwhile, Ashley is going inside to get this little chihuahua/corgi mix that she was going to hold on her lap. As Ashley comes out with the little pup I ask the dog sitting shotgun to get in the back, I’m not exactly sure what he heard but I think it was something like, “hey brown and black dog, why don’t you hop into the back of this car and rip off the mastiff’s ear”. I mean they pretty much sound the same. So this brown/black guy is bitting the hell out of the mastiffs ear and the mastiff is screaming and screaming like I have never heard. I gave the brown and black dog a few kicks to the upper chest with my handy dandy Uggs but that didn’t do anything. Next time I need to order the Uggs with spikes. So i grabbed the tail of this brown/black dog as hard as I can and i rip him out of the car. he finally lets go of the mastiff’s ear and I am holding him upside down as ashley is helping me get him out of the car. However, Ashley was holding that little chihuahua so now the brown and black dog goes after the chihuahua and somehow in this whole debacle the chihuahua was on the ground I grabbed the satan dog and the chihuahua took off. Peace out he said. So bring the satan dog back in the pound where he is happy as a clam and doesn’t see anyting wrong with what he just did. I told him I couldn’t bring him to denver, because he was the devil.  He didn’t really get it. So, once we got satan settled I was freaking out trying to find the chihuahua and relised he zipped around the back and found his way back into the pound. Why he ran back to the pound through a secret back door when freedom was right there, I will always wonder. However, I couldn’t have been happier. I grab the chihuahua and look at Ashley and ask her is she is ready to go. She was not. She had a weird look on her face. I asked her what was wrong? and what did she say:

A;” umm michelle that mastiff just took a huge shit in the backseat, i mean huge”

M” WTF”

A” yeah, a huge poop, its everywhere all over the dog, all of the seat cover, behind the seat cover, on the passenger chair. And there are worms in it, lots of worms”. 

M” are you f-ing kidding me”

A”nope”

M”well I guess that satan dog really did scare the shit out of him”

………………

 

TO BE CONTINUED……….

 

I AM BACK IN ACTION…..FOR REALS THIS TIME

sorry  i have been gone for so long…but I AM BACK FOR GOOD!!!!

 

the last post i entered was so long ago I can barely remember…and well let’s face it you probably didn’t even realize I was gone. But I am back, with a vengance. I am going to add this to my list of 2012 resolutions, I mean I have room for more resolutions since I have failed on about 50% of them and it is only Januray 11…but this one I will not fail on. I PROMISE. although I don’t think I can continure to post every day for all of my fans, it really is just too exhausting. I will aim for every day, be happy with ever other, and settle for twice a week. but that is IT! and that is my promise to you for 2012. I have lots of tricks up my sleeve for you, so you are welcome in advance.

 

peace, love, and nappiness

 

michelle

 

 

im catching up… i swear.

Day 53 – The last thing you bought

strawberry cheesequake...ummm extra cheesequake?

Day 54 – A picture of yourself from middle school

where's waldo?

Day 55 – What your wearing today

so colorful, what can I say. You may notice I am not wearing a band aid, letting my war wound heal up.

Day 56 – A drawing of your favorite cartoon charcter

we did not have cable.

Day 57 – Everything inside your purse/backpack/wallet

long sleeves, passport, headphones, planner, yarn, toothpaste, fork? what else could I need.

Day 58 – Your favorite animal

how cute is this little guy, just boppin' around the desert!

Day 59 – Your most used electronic device

good old handy, dandy, indestructable iphone. wait, what.

Day 60 – Last movie you watched

thanks to given. i tried really hard not to laugh, but eventually i caved, this dumb movie is actually kind of funny in a i don't know if i should laugh or throw up kind of way.

Day 61 – School class picture

thats right. i drew a heart around this face. bahaha

Day 62 – Last place you traveled to

vieques. learn about it.

Day 63 – Sports awards

so competitive what can I say, I think I see a trophy AND a medal. boo yah.

Day 64 – Favorite childhood book

ny times best seller!

Day 65 – A picture of you and your bestfriend

gringa y chola

Day 66 – A picture in your room

we are gettin the boot from our current dwelling...ahhhhh

Day 67 – Something Green

do something granola-y, compost

Day 68 – A magazine you like

duh.
Day 69 – Something Red

meat. and i like it rare.

where in the world is carmen san diego?

This is how I feel today…where oh where have I been. After spending the last day or two sorting through all the fan mail I received while on my second mini hiatus, I felt the need to belly up to the PC and make some magic happen on this blog. You are welcome in advance, but before I catch myself up on my 100 day challenge, I am sure you are wondering where the heck I was and boy do I have a story for you…more of a picture book kind of story, but I am sure you will appreciate it. 🙂

On day 53 of my 100 day photo challenge, I decided I would wait to update my blog until after my doctor’s appointment, had I know I was going to see Dr. Kevorkian’s  brother I would have gone ahead and made my “final” post.  But like most situations I unfortunately find myself in, I prevailed.

So on that fateful day, I headed out of the  work office and into the podiatrists office. I will go ahead and say it now, NEVER GO TO A PODIATRIST (or at least one with clowns and craft fair dolls all over his office).  The events unfold, in the picture book below, edited version. Explicit version available upon request.

At first glance doesn't seem that bad...oh wait is that chucky and what is that on top of the filing cabinet?
ahhh more of those craft dolls, should have left the podiatrists office at that moment.
sat through the "painless procedure" staring at the clown creature. sign number 3 this was not a good idea.
after a night of no sleep, a few tears and a lot of ibuprofen this is what i saw. save the cankle jokes, i can't see my ankle either.
went to the hospital. unwrapped my foot and this creature appeared. got meds. went home. slept like a baby with a shrek foot.
painkillers. antibiotics and staph. OH MY. continued to clean it and soak it for the next few days, hoping one of these days I would walk again.
toes started to look dead. so i went ahead and drained them. it was not a pretty sight.
the best part about the infection, the pretty assortment of pills i "got" to take to make me all better.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....I woke up with this pattern on my body. Off to the ER I go.
I left the ER feeling a bit loopy with this lovely little band aid from the IV.
A nice, after hospital meal. Courtesy of Chef Me.
today, only two bandaids! Happy to have all my toes, but of course this situation would only happen to me.

THAT IS HOPEFULLY THE END OF THAT!!! As for the blog challenge, I will being catching up on that this afternoon and be all good to go tomorrow.

Day 52 – A picture of yourself celebrating for getting this far

get up get up and get down

I am not quite sure that I actually deserve to put up a post for day 52. Reason being, I haven’t actually done such a good job with this challenge but I am going to go ahead and do something I am really good at: put the blame on someone/thing else. Yep, the fact that I am not able to keep up with the challenge on days that start with S is because of a few things:

~ comcast- Comcast inhibits me from adding to my blog on the weekends because they charge to much for the internet, I mean what is their monthly service charge for anyways? I would really like someone to explain this to me in layman’s terms. Why must you charge me $50.00 a month for internet, why not $5. I am not asking that much, I won’t even use the internet at home during the day during the week I promise. I mean, I just don’t get it, can’t there just be a set-up fee and then I can go on my way into cyberspace and do the facebook stalking and reality tv watching that I need to survive for $5 a month?

~comcast – On a more positive note I did just cave to the monopoly that is Comcast, I recently got cable. Living for so long without it was fine, I didn’t actually care. The only time I felt like I was really suffering was on Sat/Sun mornings when the only options are japanamation, chuch, church in spanish, and a never ending infomercial channel dedicated to the famous pajama jeans ( yes you get the free book light and chia pet when you order in the next 10 minutes plus an additional pair of pajama jeans). enough said.

~apple – Apple is to blame because my lovely laptop is slowly dying a sad death, and this laptop is not old by any means. The mouse pad no longer works (track pad for all you nerds out there). so yeah, with my computer not working properly I don’t even know what I would do if I had internet.

~ red wine – red wine + wine glass + my house = empty wine bottles and headache.

~sunshine – The Sun keeps coming out and bringing us such nice days, therefore I cannot bring myself to stay in and pity my internet-less  self.

~ chicken wings – These are always the problem for me. I love chicken wings, and therefore I cannot blog on the weekends at this point in my life because I would rather be eating buffalo chicken wings, can you blame me?

thanks for sticking around this long..you are a real trooper!

Day 51 – Something passed down from your parents/grandparents

stumped, truly stumped. i don’t think i have one item in Denver that has been passed down from my mom or grandparents…so i will put this out there to my mom:

Hi Mom,

You know where I live, if you could go ahead and mail me something so I have something that has been “passed down” from you that would be great.

Thanks,

Me

sorry folks this day of the challenge was not made for me.

Day 50 – Something you drew

i don’t draw. so naturally i do not have a picture of anything i drew. i do however paint, not well by any means, but i give it a good try. you can see my ghetto painting below.

so i guess you say i drew this picture with a paintbrush and some paint, clever? drawing seems to be an ancient art by the time you are in your 20’s, has anyone done a drawing recently or am I just weird?

an owl, weird huh?

seriously need to catch up….

Day 45 – Your favorite food…..

hmmm… I am not sure who created this 100 day photo challenge…but I think we already went over this. 🙂 my favorite food, is and will always be, macaroni and cheese!
Day 46 – A picture of your favorite state

take me home...

Day 47 – A room in your house

brother darkness in the living room.

Day 48 – Your bestfriend

not sure if i have one best friend…or really if i have ever had just one. growing up i had two.

bf #1
bf #2

in no particular order…

but i must admit it is hard being such good friends with such gorgeous girls. not only are they beautiful but they are the most genuine individuals and kind friends. neighbors, school mates, friends. growing up with these two girls was amazing, wouldn’t change it for the world. xoxo

In elementary school  until 7th grade it seemed like everyone was a best friend at some point, i could have really used a reality show at that age like jersey shore or 16 and pregnant. Lets face it i could use a reality show at any time of my life.  Those years that go unpublished through photos at this time, what a shame. I have visions in my head right now of all the photos i have in drawers, albums, shoe boxes, etc. I wish I had access to photos to show you a few of them.  When I get a chance to get back to the motherland I will inundate you with photos of an awkward looking teen from the burbs of chi town. In 8th grade I was reunited with Chelsea aka chunk, who soon became my other half. Inseparable in all we did it was easy to see how our mom’s had been friends as well and we even had a picture of us when we were younger, i will most definitely post that gem as soon as I get it. . I basically moved on into her house the day I met her in 8th grade and unwillingly moved out after high school graduation…she is now an amazing photographer on her way to stardom, if you haven’t checked out her website you need to, she is amazing! http://glasslilac.com/index2.php#/home/

me, alina, rachel, chunk

i know what you are thinking when you look at this picture —————————————>

HOT DAMN!, I know, I pick great looking friends, what can I say. It just so happens that they are amazing individuals too, its weird how life  and friends turn out. Today, all of the “best” friends I have, I chose  and  they have chosen me. We each bring something to the friendship that keeps us wanting to be friends. All of my friends are really amazing, and of course I say that right, or else I wouldn’t be friends with them?  But seriously, friends are the family you choose, I am proud of my choices so far.  top ten fo life yo:)

me and laura = bffaeaeeiwdseoatt (figure that one out)

my long distance besties are alina and sarah b. No explanation needed. But even being hundreds of miles away and going a few days without texting, facebooking, talking on the phone etc, these two friends are very special and no matter how far away we live or how close we are, I know we will be friends forever, there is something special about these friendships.

In college, Moni was my numero uno. From the minute she became my roommate, we were inseparable. I blame my love of college and all my great memories there on her!

Today, here in this little town where i have found myself living for the past few years I have all those best friends plus more. All of you here know who you are: giv, boots, kristin, rita, al, melissa, kija, aimee, lindsey, tuma, nikki, cari, mari, stiney,  and yes sean, you too. just to name a few…feel free to make me feel like a bum friend by commenting.   🙂

peace.

Day 49 – A day your remember really well

this was the best day of work. ever.

Day 44 – A hobby of yours

I was getting a bit worried when I saw the clock say 5:30pm and I hadn’t yet thought of the blog challenge at any point during the day. I procrastinated a few more minutes, but the thought of Monique or Cari thinking I was not taking this challenge seriously got me onto the computer typing this masterpiece. I surely do not want to be the first person voted off this blog challenge island if you know what I mean.

So when I went to check and see what the challenge of the day was I was quite relieved, a hobby of yours. This, for me is so easy, it is something I do almost all day every day. It is the reason my bf asks me if I am a 90 year old stuck in a 27 year old models body. 😉 So can you guess what my hobby is? Think of a cute little old lady, sitting in her rocker on the front porch, a glass of iced tea collecting moisture droplets on the plastic table next to her, hair in a bun, listening to some good old tunes…what do you think she would be doing as an activity? Chugging whiskey you say, nope that is not my hobby, well not all the time anyways. Playing skyfari, you know that game where you gaze into the cloudy  sky and try to find some sort of jungle animal in the clouds? Nope that is not my hobby, well not on a daily basis. Shooting a bb gun at those good-for-nothing squirrels that keep eating my daisys..nope, that is not a hobby of mine, well not yet. Alright already, what is my hobby, knitting? Booyah…this it is. My favorite thing to do, almost all day, everyday. I love knitting, hats, scarves, cowls, blankets, flower thingys, mittens, fingerless-gloves, and the list goes on and on my friend. I find it interesting that with my A.D.D a hobby favored by the elderly can grasp my attention for hours on end…so with that said if you are looking for something knitted please let me know, or visit my online store ( which is kind of under construction as I slave away day and night in my knitting factory trying to come up with cool stuff for all of you to don)…

my newest yarn addition. softest yarn ever.
whipped up a quick little flower for ya.
bubba wanted a headband too.